One of the most challenging areas in relationships can be setting boundaries and then sticking to them. Some boundaries are internal, and the person we are negotiating with is self! It is a conversation between the competing parts of our own internal drives and consciousness.
Some boundaries are external, like the ones you set with housemates about domestic chores, or what’s ok in an intimate relationship.
Living in the current time with such extreme social restrictions, boundaries are very important. I had a friend Jane tell me that someone rang her and spoke for three hours. Because Jane was in isolation at the time, she couldn’t think of an excuse for why she had to get off the phone, and felt she had to listen to her friend, whom admittedly she had not seen for a while, for literally hours.
We don’t need an excuse to care for and guard our mind and our time. Just because we are stuck at home doesn’t mean we have all the time in the world each day to let others take what they want. It is ok to say I have work to do. Or, my meditation class is about to start. Whatever. It’s your time and that is our most precious resource.
Another form of boundary that would be useful now is one around what stimulus we allow into our mind day after day. Do you really want to soak in news and stories of yet another Covid disaster 24/7? Let’s think of mental quarantine as well as physical. Watch a documentary instead.
Relationships are always a classroom in boundaries, but right now there are some additional matters to consider, like space boundaries. With people together more than usual, it is more important than ever to respect each other’s space. Don’t barge into your husband’s space, assuming he has time to talk right now, even if he is just reading a book. He needs down time like you do. And if you are being constantly interrupted, make a sign to hang on your door knob saying do not disturb. Or make it fun… “Out of my mind, back in 30 minutes” or “Frustrated and busy! Enter at your own risk”!!
Take care of your boundaries during quarantine. Your mind, thoughts, time, space and relationships need attention and creative expression for a happier saner experience of Covid life.
If you enjoyed this, you might like Shakti Durga’s podcast – great practical tips and insights for modern living.