Here are the first 3 of Shakti Durga’s 12 Top Tips
In this day and age divorce is a very prevalent and common experience in Western culture. While people get together with high hopes and an intention to stay together in love for life, the reality is often very different. As things fall apart, there are some things we can do to make it bearable and which will help us to cultivate a new and different relationship moving forward. Implementing these things may take inner strength, and the cultivation of more tolerance, patience and all round virtue. If we approach it the right way, going through a divorce can be a spiritual class room which vastly enriches us as human beings and brings diversity and opportunity into our lives and the lives of our children.
- Remember the good. At the beginning of your relationship in the honeymoon period we can see no wrong in our beloved. If you got as far as marriage, things must have seemed really amazing once upon a time. At the end, it is sometimes hard to remember anything positive as we are overwhelmed with differences, stale energy and problems! We all have selective memories and consciousness. Keep some perspective and balance in your memory and don’t demonize the beloved.
- Manage expectations: you didn’t have your expectations met during the marriage, so it is unlikely that they are suddenly going to be met now. Moderate expectations, be clear about your bottom line, don’t sweat the small stuff and only take issue on things that are really, really important.
- Don’t try to change them: Changing others is a useless and disempowering strategy. However miracles can happen when we work on our self respect, self love and self esteem. When these things become stronger within us, people generally tend to treat us differently. Do your best to accept your ex as they are and work on your own interior landscape.
Tips 4 to 6 continued next week.
Shakti Durga is teaching Empowering Relationships 1 on 13 & 14 September at the Abode of Peace. Empowering Relationships gives you a toolbox to deal with the most difficult situations in relationships. It enables you to love yourself. To register email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Shakti Durga’s Empowering Relationships book is also a great source of wisdom and understanding about the multi-dimensional nature of relationships with techniques teaching how to become inspired, respected, happy and fulfilled within relationships. It is available from the online store.