When we pin our hopes to external events we can only be happy or feel good about ourselves if those events transpire. If the thing I’m looking forward to happens the way I hoped that it would.
We’ve all had times where things have gone according to plan, but what about when they don’t? Things can go in all kinds of directions other than where we thought they’d go. I don’t know anyone who’s never had any disappointments in their life. I don’t know anyone who’s ever succeeded at everything that they’ve ever tried to do. I don’t think such a reality exists.
So what do we do in those times where the unexpected happens and particularly when we’re not very fond of the outcome?
Most people start to judge and criticise themselves or blame others for the trouble that they have. And miss a priceless opportunity to be able to transform themselves and their life through a contemplation of what must I believe for that to have happened?
When we can drill down to the basics of what’s going on inside my consciousness, what’s in my inner landscape that could have contributed to this situation, and what can I do about it? This is not about self-criticism. This is about opportunity. It’s a waste of energy to criticise yourself when something’s gone wrong because you’re already feeling bad. You don’t need to feel worse.
But instead be curious. Flip disappointment into curiosity. ‘Ah, there’s an opportunity here to learn something.’ ‘Ah, let me have a good look at this.’
The moment we try and blame either ourselves or others we just fall down in a big heap. Through curiosity, ‘hmm what can I learn here?’ ‘What could I have done differently?’ ‘How can I aim higher next time?’ ‘What can I do in a way that would be a different attitude and different nuances in what I was doing?’ And never be afraid to try again.
Just talk yourself through it. You’re a person who’s capable of wonderful things in this world. So don’t let defeat get you down. Believe in you because that’s the most important way you could use your consciousness, believe in yourself!
You can turn your life around and create a future that’s very different to your past.